we're chasing vodka with high fives
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
