Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
