your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
