Dual....:-)
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
