I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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