yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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