3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
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Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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