Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize