Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize