Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
