I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize