I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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