Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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