we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
