remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was CRYING into my vagina
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
