Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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