the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
