I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
