Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
