how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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