Yo dont text me then not text me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize