you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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