someone threw a dead crab at me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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