things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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