Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
