I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
