You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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