I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
