wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize