Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
