with your own penis?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
