I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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