Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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