At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize