You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
