i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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