Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
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I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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