so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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