At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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