my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
