so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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