i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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