i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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