i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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