honey bunches of taint.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
