So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
