SEEEEXXX PLEASE
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize