Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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