mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
