then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm passing your future prison.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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