Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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