If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
