i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i was born a porn star she said
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
