walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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