You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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