What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize