I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
