dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
