So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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