Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
