I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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