I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
