What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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