census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize